george carlin quotes on politics

4. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. But once you're born, you're on your own. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ~ (George Carlin). We think in words. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. 101. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer., "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see.We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. As he quite rightly points out, there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. His comedy routines and sayings are among the most widely spread in our society. Some national parks have long waiting lists for. 35. George Carlin Quotes George Denis Patrick Carlin or better known as George Carlin is a Grammy Award-winning American solo comedian, actor and writer. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. ~ (George Carlin). Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Yeah the public sucks. To change your comments display name, click here. Rough, tough, and hard to bluff." 87. I dont vote. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ~ (George Carlin). Nothing changed. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 93. Laughuntil you gasp for breath., I have as much authority as the Pope. Theyve never had rights. I put a dollar in a change machine. Several reasons. Trump's latest attack addresses DeSantis' overseas trips to the U.K., Israel, Florida's Covid-19 record, and polling support for the 2024 Presidential race. Dont give your money to the church. Just a friendly reminder that George Carlin would despise and verbally disembowel the vast majority of pundits, public figures, and random idiots currently heaping praise on him because it's trendy. God has a three-day weekend. ~ (George Carlin). Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. Garbage out. Fucking is legal. Enjoy! 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). WebNov 15, 2014 - Explore Boopsie's board "George Carlin:::Political quotes:::::" on Pinterest. Cocked, locked, and ready-to-rock. https://t.co/Zz3gVH148b. 26. The [], The 4th President of the United States was an American statesman, diplomat, and Founding Father. Continue with Recommended Cookies. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. They've got you by the balls. In America, anyone can become president. I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on metheyre cramming for their final exam. 79. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. And why would it be America out of all the countries? And armbands. It creates a hostile work environment. What's the fucking mystery? The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. I just dont have as many people who believe it. I dont vote. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ~ (George Carlin). A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. ~ (George Carlin). 91. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 38. Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' 27. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. ~ (George Carlin). What if there were no hypothetical questions? ~ (George Carlin). Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. ~ (George Carlin). However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). 33. You know what they are? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 9 View more comments #2 Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ (George Carlin). This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. They will do anything for the unborn. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. ~ (George Carlin). I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. Tax them. In America, anyone can become president. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? 37. George Carlin quotes about politics. And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. 123. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. ~ (George Carlin). 104. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. ", "Don't just teach your children to readteach them to question what they read. April 27, 2023, by Libertarian Country If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? As for the poor, they tell us theyve Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. ", "There may or may not beatheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. Its delusional thinking! The challenge is to find it. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. 115. 92. If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself cant lift it? ~ (George Carlin). First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. And theyre elected by American citizens. Religion. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. We dont have people like that in this country. 108. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ~ (George Carlin). They've got the judges in their back pockets. 12. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. This is what we have to offer. But wheres the logic in that? Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. They own and control the corporations. I have as much authority as the Pope. They will do anything for the unborn. Theres no present. Always do whatevers next. ~ (George Carlin). Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. 67. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. God has. WebGeorge Carlin Quote: Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. The planet isnt going anywhere. And how many more manners and gestures [], Quiet spoken, with an amiable smile and an elfin like quality, Eckhart Tolle is the author of international bestsellers The [], Class struggle, class consciousness, alienation, communism and the face of Karl Marx in numerous posters in teenagers and students [], At the age of 12 he tamed a wild stallion, Bucephalus, that later became his beloved companion in battle, and [], Born in 1452, in Anchiano, Tuscany, Leonardo di ser Piero Da Vinci was best known for his paintings of Mona [], Truly adorable and friendly, Leo Buscaglia, aka Dr. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. 49. It's impressive that a comedian delivered some of the most thought-provoking and intellectual content ever. ", "Never underestimate the power ofstupid people in large groups. He joked about it but he was dead serious. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? ~ (George Carlin). Some people see things that are and ask, Why? They should be giving their money to you. Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. ~ (George Carlin). In America, anyone can become president. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). This explains that although teamwork is important, what you can individually bring to a business is equally relevant. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. I'm talking about the real owners, now. Laugh often, long and loud. Fascism won it. That was me when I was fourteen. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). Because you have the most money? In recent years, the popularity of George Carlin has amplified among constitutional conservatives, libertarians, anarchists and freethinkers. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Because he likes our National Anthem? There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Enjoy! 10. In America, anyone can become president. Thats the problem. 11. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. The career of comedian George Carlin (19372008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962. They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? This is the best we can do folks. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). 16. "Hmm? My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. ~ (George Carlin). My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Love, was the kind of person you could hang out with and [], Slim and soft-spoken, endearingly warm and witty, with an enviable knack for captivating the interest of his audiences during his [], How can a sickly boy, suffering from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever, transform himself into an accomplished gymnast, a wrestler [], With his simple, unpretentious writing style, characterized by an unfiltered, punchy honesty and violent and sexual imagery, Bukowski managed to [], Born in 1910 in Hall, Indiana, John Robert Wooden, aka the Wizard of Westwood, was an American basketball player and [], Short Funny George Carlin Quotes that will make you Laugh, Best George Carlin Quotes to make you Laugh and Think Out of the Box, Insightful George Carlin Quotes on Politics and Government, Inspirational George Carlin Quotes on Life, Society and People, Provocative George Carlin Quotes on Religion that will Remind you there is a Funny Side of God, 80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories, 60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride, 51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, 50 Harvey Milk Quotes To Help Us Never Silence Hope, 44 Astonishing Mary Astell Quotes that Spoke of Gender Equality Earlier Than You Think, 50 Unconventional Quotes From Future About Love And Life, 70 Pertinent James Madison Quotes That Can Still Inspire a Better State, 60 Powerful Led Zeppelin Quotes About Love, Life And Death, 65 Exceptional Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes About The Fight For Justice, 70 Ariana Grande Quotes That Will Inspire You And Make You Fall In Love, Best 90 George Orwell Quotes on the Danger of Oppression, 75 Jane Austen Quotes on the Truth of Love, The Best Eckhart Tolle Quotes About Now & Being, 70 Karl Marx Quotes to Form Conscience on Social Issues, 60+ Alexander The Great Quotes on the Idea of an Empire, 99 Leonardo Da Vinci Quotes About Knowledge, Art and Inspiration, 50+ Motivational Leo Buscaglia Quotes on Living and Learning, 100+ Yuval Noah Harari Quotes About the World Today, 70+ Joseph Pilates Quotes About the Pilates Method and Your Bodys Potential, 66 Gritty Charles Bukowski Quotes for Restless Souls, 110 John Wooden Quotes to Help You Coach Yourself. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. Bonus Material: Watch this video, it's Carlin at his best! Apparently, we're not ready for that., "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. The strikes left 34 people injured, including three children, and caused widespread damage. If not, no matter." 24. 76. Thats the problem. 119. It is easy to speculate that George Carlin would have been disgusted by the thought of being a political darling for any party, and especially by the thought of being partisan media clickbait. So I don't trust none of them.". BAM! What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. Copyright Twitchy.com/Salem Media. Carlin was a cool guy; he wasn't racist, sexist, homophobic, or any other buzzword insult the P.C. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. 10. ", "Selling is legal. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. The future will soon be a thing of the past. - Susan Polis Schutz -- "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." Unfortunately, many progressives and today's so-called "social justice warriors" have reduced Carlin to an "antiquated, patriarchal white male oppressor. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. Deal with it. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. 31. 7. 21. What kind of pro-life is that? Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Last Updated: 29th April, 2023 14:09 IST International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp Messages, Wishes, Greetings, Quotes To Share Celebrate International Dance Day 2023 on April 29 by sending WhatsApp messages, wishes, greetings and quotes to those whose passion is dancing. ", I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. It will not be with jack-boots. I was a loner as a child. Web390K subscribers in the quotes community. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Fortunately, fans of Carlin are not easily persuaded that everything must align with partisan preference. Swimming is not a sport. 68. Feel free to indulge in the philosophy and comedy of George Carlin, expect to be offended at least part of the time. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 69. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. ", "In America, anyone can become president. They dont fall out of the sky. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. WebThis is the best we can do folks. 50. Maybe its because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni! Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. I just dont have as many people who believe it., "I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. ", "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. 71. This is the best we can do folks. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. WebAmerican stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. 110. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. 52. Both the Left and the Right have been known to use his insights to demonstrate their own points. Its so f***ing heroic. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? 103. How are YOU going to tackle today? Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. The [], Characterized by a direct and lucid prose, uncluttered from literary devices that seek to please or entertain, George Orwell, was [], How many possible words and phrases are there to express love and romance? The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). ", Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff., "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. An idle mind is the devils workshop. And the devils name is Alzheimers. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin, in full George Denis Patrick Carlin, (born May 12, 1937, New York, N.Y., U.S.died June 22, 2008, Santa Monica, Calif.), American comedian whose Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television routine led to a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that gave the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) the right to determine when to I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Quotes And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin was a stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Teach them to question everything. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. ~ (George Carlin). Some people see things that are and ask, Why? ", "Have you ever wondered whyRepublicansare so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Nobody owns anything. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. No, that might be something Christ would do! Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Could it be everyone? Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. April 18, 2023, To Get Exclusive Deals, Latest Products, Free Articles & Libertarian News, 2023 Libertarian Country. Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: the public sucks, fuck hope. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). He won several Grammy awards and was posthumously honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 2. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. People like to twist that around. George Carlin was way ahead of his time. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. Thats the problem. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was. My mother would say, Why are you always playing alone? And I would say, Im not playin, Ma. 74. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. 5. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. ~ (George Carlin).

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